


scars

by starflowerlester (orphan_account)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Description, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Scars, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Yurio POV, of self harm cuts, theyre both depressed my smol childern, who put angst in my fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 09:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10637304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/starflowerlester
Summary: yuuri n yuri are sweet boyfriendsthey both self harmi know i dont capitalize anything dont attack me okor: a smol fluffy fic based on the poem scars by meggie royer (my queen omg)





	

**Author's Note:**

> yuuri is 19, yurio is 16
> 
> im taking the name katya for yurio's cat from the amazing fic Twinkle of Hearts by Claire_Dimlight
> 
> tw-depictions and many mentions of cuts, scars, depression, self hatred, etc.

i stumble out of the bathroom, surprised to see yuuri at the door of our shared room.

i hide my wrist behind my back, trying to make my way across the room to the closet without showing my bleeding wrist to yuuri. i already know that he cuts, i just didn't want him to know that i did too.

i don't even know why i do it. i think i just want to test my pain threshold.

well, that's not the full truth. i actually hate myself. i can't talk to anyone without coming off as annoying or rude. other than yuuri. i just take it out on my arms, i guess.

it's really not a big deal.

it's not a problem while skating because i can just use foundation to cover it. i usually choose long sleeved costumes just in case. i wear hoodies all the time, no matter how hot it is.

of course today, at this moment, i chose to leave my sweater in the bathroom. all i am wearing is a black short sleeved shirt.

i dart into the closet, trying to find some long sleeve shirt or sweater. but of course, everything is in the laundry.

yuuri has begun to undress. he has given up on trying to hide his scars. the thin lines range from white to pink to bleeding, burning red. of course i knew he cut, i just didn't know he did it so much.

yuuri notices my staring at his arms and legs.

"i fell down the stairs, they were slippery today," he says quietly.

right.

i change shirts quickly, seeing if i could do it quick enough so yuuri wouldn't notice the white and red train tracks down my wrists and arms. 

but of course, he notices.

"my cat's a little bastard," i say confidently. katya would never scratch me, and yuuri knows that, but it's worth a shot.

"on a walk yesterday in the forest, the sharp branches snagged my skin," yuuri replies, sharply but also...hurt?

"i...fell in the knife drawer? this morning?" i say. i'm making this up as i go. there is an incredibly slim chance that yuuri will believe me.

"yurio. you, well, we, need to stop messing around. why didn't you tell me earlier?" yuuri asks. tears make thin wet lines down his face.

"no, no, no, no, no. you don't need to worry about me. don't cry, please?" i say. i didn't want to upset him, that's why i never told him. can't he understand that?

"when did you even start?" yuuri asks, tentatively.

"two years ago."

"oh."

"yeah. what...what about you?" i ask. i wonder if i really want the answer.

"uh, four years ago?" he says quietly.

"well, here's what i think. we both do this out of self-hatred, right?" i ask.

"oh! uh, yeah, i guess..." yuuri answers. he seems almost surprised. well, i would be surprised too. to hear that the "ice tiger of russia" hates himself.

"well, we need to move on. we need to be better. we can do that together...right?" i say. i'm afraid of how he will react. does he even want to be with me? am i being too pushy?

yuuri pretty much reads my mind.

"yeah. i would love to...together," yuuri smiles through his tears. he takes my hands, palms up so he can see the scars, old and new.

he brings my left wrist to his lips and kisses each one. gently, slowly.

i use my right hand to take his. i carefully put our wrists together. both have fresh, still-open cuts slicing through them. 

i press his biggest open cut and mine together. now we share blood. a part of yuuri is and will always be in my heart, and now there is tangible proof of it.

yuuri finishes kissing my cuts. i feel the ghost of his soft lips and warm breath on my wrist.

he uses his right hand to trace my jawline. he slips his hand to the base of my neck, then up to my hair.

"we'll do better next year," yuuri says before kissing me, soft but firm.

"next year," i say between kisses.

next year.

**Author's Note:**

> what even is this
> 
> im not going to continue this its just a one shot


End file.
